Spongeface
by abbazabba105
Summary: Spongebob enters the life of murder, drugs, and krabby paties within a gang of mobsters. Soon he falls for the ladies, kills the guys, sells the stuff. find out in spongeface
1. Chapter 1 the job?

Chapter 1: The Job

There I lay listening to the sound of my alarm clock laying next to my squishy, fluffy, snail Gary. This was also the day I realized my life is all crap so Ill look for a job. I start to walk down town for a job and i see a help wanted sign in the window of the Krusty Krab. Sounds like a friendly place, I thought anyway. So I proceeded to walk, I look up to a man with a HUGE nose. His name tag says "Squidward". " May I speak to the manager?" I asked. Squidward nodded and took me to the manager's office. I saw a man with a beautiful girl by his side. I asked

"Are you the manager of this joint?"

"Yes I am, now tell me who you are?" asked Mr. Krabs

"My name is Spongebob Squarepants. I heard you wanted A job to be done."

" Yes but there is a condition when you get a job you do it or the boss is gonna get you."

"A'ight. So whats the job?"

" I need you to kill Big Louie. He is our compettiter if he dies were in the clear."

" what is the competition about?"

" Ahh my boy its Krabby Patties to them its a drug an illegal habbit nobody can stop. are you up for the chalenge?"

"Yes, I am."

I grasp the gun given to me from . I put it in my coat pocket. What am I doing I cant kill a man what if he has kids? Or mabey he is a loser and its ok. Dear Neptune what do I do? If i dont do it ill die. If I do it ill go to jail, mabey. Hell, ill do it death is worse than prison. As I walk into the Chum Bucket. I realized it was so gross, but who cares? Then I see a guy go into the mens room with a case. So I follow him. Then I ask,

"Are you Big Louie?"

He says "Yeah what of it?"

"Pasta lavista Baby"

BOOOM BOOM BOOM! I shot him multipule times. I now stand over the bloody, gorey, dead corpse of what was Big Louie. The image will haunt me for ever. 


	2. Chapter 2 the date

Chapter 2: The Date

I thought about what I just did, why did I ask for a job in the first place? I guess im just a bubbleblowin' idiot. Who cares I'm already going to hell. gave me the part two of my job, he gave me a partner his name is Patrick he seems like a bigger retard than me but he's my partner so we will dig the grave and burry Big Louie.

"Oh god patrick what will I do?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean Pearl,"

"What about her buddy?"

"She's the boss' daughter and look at her, like she's bbb-beautiful."

"You got the hots for pearl, (laughing) if you want ill hook you up."

"realy?"

"Sure but remeber Bro's before hoe's"

"Thanks man."

"No problem dude."

Later That Night

God Im nervous what if she dosent like me? What do I talk about? GOD SPONGEBOB KEEP IT TOGETHER!

"So spongebob what do you like?" pearl asked

"Huh- wha?"

" Never mind, you know I felt bad for you cause you are pathetic but I hope we have a good night."

"Well I- uh umm, HOWS YOUR SOUP?"

"Spongebob,"

"Yes?"

" I think you need a chill pill. I'm having a great time."

"Oh uh yeah I'm chill but uhh i was like wondering, umm like uh uh," I couldnt think so i ended up saing the most stupid thing.

"RED ROBINS! YUM!" I said stupidly

"Spongebob I have to go."

Then I saw Pearl run looking terrified. I cant believe I said that im so stupid! GRRRR. Oh well I guess that is a mistake I will never make again. Then I heard my phone play my ring tone for Patrick (girlfriend by avril lavigne)

"Hello?"

"So how'd it go?"

" I said the stupidest thing to pearl,"

"What?"

"If you laugh your not my buddy."

"Ok, what?"

"RED ROBINS! YUM"

"I dont get it."

"Never mind. I got to go,"

"Ding, Dong" that was the door bell. I wonder who it is? I oppened the door and I couldnt believe my eyes. 


	3. Chapter 3 Sandy, the job,krabby patties

Chapter 3: Sandy, the new job, krabby patties

SANDY, the best friend I ever had she was the only girl that could hang with me. Did I mention she is a squirrle?

"Sandy? what- were- why are you here?"

"Well I insist that you should keep your jelly fishin' net."

"Oh thanks sandy."

" No problem spongebob. well i got to go, bye"

That was the firt time i realized how beautiful sandy was but its probably in my head from all the boose I drank.I had a dream of sandy that night and we were married, and at an old folks home together. I woke up screaming though, it was terrible she shot me in my dream? I need a glass of milk. I looked at the alarm clock, oh my god 7:06 IM LATE! I ran and luckly i was here before that big nose guy Squidward.

"Mr. Krabs Iam so sorry Im late."

"That reminds me, why was my daughter screaming and yelling about you?"

"Dear lord Im so sorry its just that i was nervous and I uh kinda screamed RED ROBBINS YUM!"\

" (laughing hard) Oh my boy well then thats all right."

"So uh anywho do I have a new job?"

"Yes this job is to go see Plankton and give him this."

(hands over a krabby patty with a button on it)

"What is it?"

"A bom, i need you to destroy The Chum bucket."

Ok so i go from a man with a snail no job to, a killer, to a man who yells red robbins yum at his bosses daughter and now a death bommer. Who knows mabey nobody is there and the building is just destroyied. I walked in to the Chum bucket, and nobody is there what luck. I place the bom on the floor and I see a case. I opened the case and inside were Krabby Patties. I have never tried one before hmmm. I took a bite. OMG THEY ARE SOOOO GOOD! No wonder I kill people for these. I looked around and since nobody was there I set the bom and ran like hell with the case of patties. BOOM! The place exploded. I told Mr. Krabs about how nobody was there, he cut my paycheck because of it. Oh well, more patties for me. 


	4. Chapter 4 flats

Chapter 4: him

I heard my phone ring the caller I.D was a privet number.

"Hello?"

"Get ready I got your girl."

"Who are you?"

"Just meet me behind the krusty krab in 20 minutes."

"OK."

WHAT GIRL I HAVE NO GIRL FRIEND? Wait "I like you spongebob we can be a tight as bark on a tree." Played back in my mind. SANDY! There goes my phone again.

"Yo." I awnsered

"Spongebob I got a call from a guy and he says we have claims and rights to.."

"PATRICK NO TIME I HAVE TO SAVE SANDY!"

"But he has Pearl too."

"Alright it calls for drastic measures."

"Not him!"

"Oh yes get the number for Squidward."

" Fine it will be a three way call."

**********************************1 moment later**************************************

So after we called we realized that he was in Squidville right now so we are screwed, Now its just me and Patrick. 19 minutes we got to run.

"Hello now who are you."

"My name is Flats. Remeber you got me expeled from boating school?"

"Ohh crap you tried to run me over and kick my butt."

"Yeah and now I got your little girly friends, over there. And if you want 'em you got to fight me."

"Ok, lets...ouch Patrick! Your suposed to hit flats!"

BOOOOM BOOM BOOM.

" you saved us!"

"well I dont trust you in kombat for me daughter."

"(blushes) uh yeah sooooo we dont talk about this ever again?"

"YEP" we all said.

And that was the end for Flats I will sure miss him. Now got to talk to Sandy...


	5. Chapter 5 sell and send

Chapter 5: The sell

is the best guy I know but the word addiction made him sound like an angy man in a blender who is posest. It scared me but now he wants me shiping out all these patties to Europe seas. So he tells me all the rules but I just want him to leave cause he scares me when we are selling. Plus he shot at me *not hitting me* when I did something wrong. Also he is a sick man 'cause I now notis he just doesnt want blood on his hands so he hires people like me.

"Now get to work!"

"Yes sir."

When I was packing the patties I thought it would be ok if I ate one, or two, or seven,and few minitues later Seven cases thats it. Oh man just shut his door he is coming! Be prepared,

"Howdy Spongebob"

"NO I DIDNT EAT SEVEN CASES OF PATTIES SIR!"

"Umm ok good for you."

"Oh uh hi Sandy."

"I just came to tell you some thin' its kinda important."

"I got to ask somethin' too, but you go first."

(this could be the only chance to ask her out , big moment after her little thingy to tell.)

"Ok Spongebob ready? LARRY PROPOSED TO ME! AND I SAID YES! ISN'T IT EXCITING!"

"Oh uh yeah, great yea sandy."

"So what did you want to ask me?"

"Oh yeah right my question-Uhh, What Shampoo do you use."

"uhh kewi jasmine, and uh I got to go, bye SB."

Why would she like Lary? Grr well I guess its back to pearl.  



End file.
